Five of my med school buddies and I set off to Belize during spring break. We were determined to make it as EXTREME as possible. For eight days, in eight different ways, we pushed ourselves to the physical limit and placed ourselves in mortal danger. In fact, I was so busy trying not to die that I couldn’t actually take photos properly. Let’s see how that happened. (I may be exaggerating a little)

Day #1: climbing Mayan ruins

Within minutes of checking into our hostel in the little city of San Ignacio, we wandered over to Cahal Pech, small Mayan ruins nestled in the hill above the city. We climbed the overgrown ruins and hopped in between crumbling walls.

We found tough fruits that leaked sticky milky white fluid, and we were compelled to try tasting it. It turned out to be a substance that the Mayans used as glue.

Day #2: treading water in a sacred cave

Actun Tunichil Muknal is a sacred cave filled with Mayan artifacts and ancient skeletons. It’s fairly commercialized, but it’s a half-water cave, so to enter we dipped into several pools and waded across. Many chambers were flooded to knee or hip level, and it felt surreal — like we were archeologists on an expedition — as we found handholds on the rocky walls and lifted ourselves out of the water and onto the dry outcroppings above where ancient artifacts could be found.
I don’t have any pictures. Cameras aren’t allowed inside because some buffoon dropped one on a skull 3 years ago. We swam into the cave and then climb through 9 chambers, visiting the famed crystal maiden skeleton.

Day #3: falling into bottomless pits in Crystal Cave

If one day of EXTREME spelunking weren’t enough, we headed straight into another. And this one was AWESOME.

We climbed around 2 miles by headlamps through narrow crevices, clamoring over muddy stalagmites, clinging to stalagtites, hopping around boulders, wandering deeper and deeper into the pitch black cave.

Someone misstepped once and knocked a few rocks off the ledge he was passing. We couldn’t see the bottom of that pit, but we heard the rocks clatter several seconds later, probably about 100 feet below… After that, he was paranoid for the rest of the climb.

It felt like desecration when our guide instructed us to climb on the beautiful formations themselves. I know full well that once even brushed against by human skin, a stalagtite becomes coated with oil and can never accumulate calcium carbonate and grow ever again, yet I also knew that these had been climbed many times over before I arrived anyway…

If our guide decided he didn’t like us, he could have bolted off and left us there to rot. There were so many grand chambers and non-intuitive passages that there’d be no way in hell we could backtrack out by ourselves. Good thing we paid Diego enough, I guess.

Day #4: jungle hiking, creek wading

100 feet into our jungle hike, we had to cross the stream. These weren’t gentle two-step hop-big-rocks crossings, but sloshing through knee-deep water, battling the current, finding footing blindly on slippery submerged rocks. We had to cross it 16 times more to reach the waterfall, then do every single crossing in reverse on the way out.

Every single one of us fell spectacularly at least once. Both times I slipped my camera was a few inches from submerging.

Oh, unrelated to the hike, but we also got infected by salmonella, because apparently these iguanas carry them and they gouged us with their claws.

Day #5: scaling more Mayan ruins

Hmm, while visiting Xunantunich, some of the largest ruins (130 feet) in Belize, I guess we didn’t almost die that day, but didn’t  Mayans used to use some of their pyramids for human sacrifice?

Day #6: swimming between islands

We took a rocky water taxi to the tiny (<5 sq mi) picturesque island of Caye Caulker, where there is nothing to do but relax on the beach (everything is beach there), drink coconuts, hang out at the bar, drink beer, and eat seafood.

Well, I guess you could also elect to swim across a small channel from one island to the other. You know, where the currents are strong and threaten to sweep you out to sea and where boats big and small barrel through without expecting humans to be in the way.

Day #7: snorkeling in the reefs

Among injuries incurred that day were severe motion sickness, widespread sunburns, sun poisoning, osmotic diarrhea, scrapes against jagged underwater rocks. Half of us intend to never go snorkeling on a small boat again.

Day #8: swirling around in a kayak.

Three of us ocean kayaked around all of Caye Caulker. It was frustrating to have only two paddles between the three of us (a strange store policy about clashing), but we made good time around the island. The only injury I sustained was a sunburn exacerbation. Not a bad score, I guess.

 

Oh, by the way, we were never even close in mortal danger, and I had a tremendously good time on this trip. I draw attention to the little scrapes and bruises and fail to mention dining on delicious chicken, rice, and beans, lounging on hostel porches, enjoying sunsets on the beach, hunting for seaweed juice, and splashing around in stunning blue water.