This weekend in Boston, I ran my first half marathon (1:49:13, 8:20 pace), thought about ghosts along the way, and threw up at the end.
Before I go on and talk and silly things, let me express my gratitude: Boston is truly a city of history and ghosts. Cemeteries are everywhere downtown — even in Boston Common — and people are remembered with fondness and pride. Today is Memorial Day, and yesterday’s race commemorates our first responders, especially the people who have given their lives protecting us. We runners are also remembering the victims of the Boston Marathon two years ago.
All right, let’s talk running.
My race could be a metaphor for life. I started with an abundance of energy, running the first half with glee and with complete disregard for the consequences of my bravado. I suffered for it during the second half, oppressively fatigued, tachycardic, dyspneic, and wondering why I made all those poor choices in the first half. Then, in the end, I threw up.
I guess this can also serve as a metaphor for going out for drinks, huh?
However, not this not dissuade anyone who is not running right now! This TED talk makes a good case for how long-distance running was vital in human evolution, and I could rattle off statistics about the benefits of exercise in this modern world, but 1) I haven’t memorized the stats; 2) you already know the gist of it; 3) I’ll share anecdotal evidence instead. One day, I’m seeing gray-haired 60-year-olds who are sedentary coming into the ED needing triple bypasses or amputations after diabetic ulcers, and the next day and watching gray-haired 60-year-olds passing me merrily at mile 12 of a half marathon (after which I threw up).
You don’t even need to wait all your life to reap in the benefits of running; benefits come immediately and in a multitude of forms. For instance, running mobilizes static blood in peripheral veins and warms up your hands. If you’re sleepy, go run and it’ll wake you right up. If your body is craving all sorts of weird and unhealthy foods, exercising might remind your systems what nutrients it actually needs. If you have trouble falling asleep, then run more to proportionally tire out your muscles and your body will welcome sleep with open arms (and dead legs). All four of these have happened to me in the past few months.
“But but but but… running is hard! There are people born to run. There are people who are built to run long distances!” Well, exactly. If you watched that TED talk, you heard that YOU too were born to run. Yeah, transitioning from not exercising to exercising sucks, but this is where ghosts come in.
If I could go back and haunt 18-year-old Peter and spook him into running, I would. Him and his extra crazy hair and weak and lanky body and complete disregard for physical well-being. The problem was he didn’t believe he could do it. Freshman-at-Harvard Peter had just spent the previous summer flailing in the water struggling to transition from swimming for 35 seconds to swimming for 90 seconds. He couldn’t fathom a running incarnation of Peter — someone who could ever make 2+ miles — could ever exist. Now look what happened when I ignored the voice of reason telling me it was impossible. Now I can run 7+ miles! I won’t claim that I can run a half marathon because, well, I threw up at the end.
Speaking of which, let’s actually discuss emesis for a second. The most interesting discovery yesterday was that prior to giving up and letting myself vomit, my parotid glands went nuts and secreted watery saliva like there was no tomorrow. Extraordinarily weird feeling, having your mouth fill up with saliva in less than 10 seconds. As the retching was actually happening, I was actively thinking about the retrograde contractions that the stomach and esophagus execute to expel the stomach’s content. Also, stomach acid tastes gross. Apparently nausea/vomiting is an accepted risk in long-distance running because the prolonged blood diversion from the gastrointestinal tract makes it freak out, but man, I don’t understand how dedicated runners put up with it. In conclusion, I am a wimp.
Right now, I can keep up running in New York because is a so practical. Running places I need to go knocks out three birds with one stone: 1) I exercise; 2) I save $5.50 per trip (gosh, stop fare-hiking, MTA!); 3) I gain the freedom to go anywhere within a medium distance, regardless of transportation. Central Park is 0.8 miles away. Midtown is 2.5 miles. Cheap groceries? 1.8 miles. Indulgent Chinatown pastries? 4.4 miles.
Why oh why didn’t I start running in Boston?! Boston, the true running city of the United States? (Okay fine, that’s contestable, but it definitely beats NY.) I knew it was a small city, but back then, every trip out of the Harvard bubble seemed so significant. Well, yesterday during the half, I passed tons of sites I used to frequent and realized how bad my concept of distance used to be. I used to allot 40 minutes to commute Chinatown by T. It’s 3.4 miles, a 27 minute run away at today’s pace. Trader Joe’s? 0.9 miles, 7 minutes. Heck, the 0.7 miles to the quad to would have taken just 4 minutes!! Too bad current Peter can’t go back and slap Harvard Peter upside the head (and then run away because Harvard Peter can’t catch up without throwing up).
That’s why when my friend — a similarly novice-ish runner from Harvard who’s also in New York — suggested we return to Boston to run our first races, it seemed like a terrific tribute.
Boston is a city I love for all the memories I accumulated there. While running that half marathon, I thought I saw ghosts, memories of a previous me in all the places that I used to be. Running by Seaport where we had a formal, running past the Esplanade, running down the path I used to bike, running towards Dunster House and the rest of Harvard. I swear I could see myself sitting at those big Mather D-Hall windows, or walking out the Park St. T station, or biking down the bank of the Charles. Or maybe those visions were from oxygen deprivation. Yeah, I dunno if I can trust emesis Peter.
Anyway, if a wimp like me can build up to a half marathon, then you novice runners or non-runners reading this, get cracking!!! Running a low-investment high-reward routine. Get discount running shoes, throw on a pair of shorts (or sweatpants if cold) and just go. Run until you can’t anymore, then repeat the next day. Stretch for a few minutes at the end of every run (don’t skip that). Track yourself to make yourself and your friends accountable. For motivation, sign up for a race a few months down the road in a place you want to visit. But sign up for a 5k or 10k, not a half marathon (21k) so you don’t vomit like the end like I did, because vomiting is like super gross.
Want to know the real secret to getting into exercise? Ulterior motives. In January 2014, back when I was still non-running Peter, I met a girl from Boston who ran. I had been biking, but all of a sudden, it seemed like a great idea to try my legs at running. I wonder why… She and I made a deal that the next time I was in Boston, we would run together.
Well, that relationship never worked out, but here I am, 1.4 years later, running a half marathon in Boston. It’s an unintentional and somewhat awkward coincidence, but I suppose that’s how some ghosts like to manifest.
Starcraft Overlords say BLEUGHHHHHH