Petrichor: the smell of the forest in the rain. It’s almost indescribable. Earthy. A lovely odor summoned by heavenly water that seeps out of the soil itself. Contained in it are hints of the mighty trees, the forests’ animal dwellers, the decay of generations past. An ancient freshness, a novel oldness, a scent that conjures thoughts of the endless renewal of nature. Continue reading Trail Running Senses
Bad Brains
On the train back down from upstate yesterday, across from me sat a mom and her son — about 6 months old. Per the suggestion of my critical care professor and because I’m rotating with pediatric neurology right now, I observed the young boy as he cried from hunger, fed a bit, then played with his mom. I thought of the thoughts and neural connections buzzing through his brain in that moment. His curious eyes darted around studying the faces of passengers, realizing that they’re faces and we’re people. He squinted when light shone through the autumn trees whistling by outside the window. He grasped at hair and clothes and with his clumsy fingers, instinctively bringing them to his mouth. As his mom lifted him by the shoulders, he pulled his legs underneath him to strengthen his hip and knee extensors. He heard his mom’s teasing voice chanting “I’m gonna get ya! I’m gonna get ya!” and his brain captured this pattern of vibrating air molecules as samples of language for future decoding. Baby brains are outright miracles. Continue reading Bad Brains
My Manhattan View
I’m kinda worn out by writing all these introspective medicine posts all the time, so I’m taking a break and showing off instead! In June, my roommates and I moved down the hall, the result being that while sitting at my desk, I turn my head left and see this: Continue reading My Manhattan View
Imagination in the Stroke Ward
“What mazes there are in this world. The branches of trees, the filigree of roots, the matrix of crystals, the streets her father recreated in his models… None more complicated than the human brain, Etienne would say, what may be the most complex object in existence; one wet kilogram within which spin universes.”
So writes Anthony Doerr in “All the Light We Cannot See,” a brilliant novel that won the 2015 Pulitzer Prize for fiction. It’s the book I’ve been reading this week and (sadly) the only novel I’ve read all year. Between my shifts at the hospital, I crack open the covers, unfurl the pages, and fall into the universe that Doerr spins with his sharp sentences. I follow two characters, two unusual children in extraordinary circumstances: Werner, a scrawny albino orphan prodigy conscripted by the Nazis for his mastery of radios and who fights to retain his humanity; and Marie-Laure, a blind French girl hiding in a walled seaside city who becomes a vulnerable courier and a dreamer. For hours at a time, the book’s words transport me into the vividly bleak fictional realities of two children in the maelstrom of World War II. Continue reading Imagination in the Stroke Ward
To watch her daughter die
Early this morning in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit), I witnessed one of the most horrifying things that can happen in this world: a mother watched her 2-year-old daughter die. Continue reading To watch her daughter die
Anesthesia Impressions
It took just one case for me to know: anesthesiology is a pretty cool job, and there’s no way I’ll do it. Their job, when unperturbed, is a routine of vials, syringes, lines, tubes, and making sure a digital control station doesn’t freak out. It’s delicate and complex, but it’s also a relatively unstimulating exercise of parameter control. Their job, when perturbed, is supremely stressful, situations in which they must act within seconds or permanently brain damage or kill someone. Neither of these situations sounds remotely fun to me. Continue reading Anesthesia Impressions
The Hospital Oracles
There were oracles in China around 1200 BC who could see the future in ox bones and turtle shells. They would inscribe them with characters, anoint them with blood, heat them up until they shattered, and “read” the fracture patterns to divinate future events. Royals would ask about rainfall, about warfare, about their own health. There were oracles everywhere in the ancient world; in Greece, Africa, and America, people sought the advice of those mystics who could see things they couldn’t. Continue reading The Hospital Oracles
On Half Marathons and Ghosts #2
There are ghosts in Mario Kart. In Time Trial mode, where you race for personal best times on an empty track, a faint translucent ghost of your kart appears alongside you, echoing your previous best run. If you’re driving on pace with your ghost, the two of you, avatar and apparition, will weave down the track alongside each other. Navigate a tricky turn more smoothly than before and you dart ahead, but make a blunder and your ghost will glide off mercilessly into the distance. Compared to what Mario Kart is typically – a mass of 12 racers, bananas littered all over, and freaking blue shells – there’s a pure simplicity in driving alone on an empty track against your ghost. There’s no one to race but yourself. Continue reading On Half Marathons and Ghosts #2